Do you think I should confess? To what? Committing masterpieces?
OrsonWelles , quoting an art forger, F For Fake (1973)
Heyyyyyyyy, It's 31.12.2023, the last day of this year, full of hopes, of dreams, of crushing wish, of laughters spreading through the hallways of me and my besties. This year is chaotic, sometimes calm, sometimes dramatic. An abstract painting made of exotic brushstrokes, yet when they come together, create a masterpiece. 2023 is a masterpiece, made up of all the chaos, ups and downs, rising hopes, crushing dreams, laughters spreading through the hallways and crying with a playlist repeated in the corner. It's been a wonderful adventure, and I would love to share with you my 2023.
1. I've been travelling a lot
It's not an exaggeration to say that my 2023's travelling is much more than what I have done in my previous entire 18 years of existence. My family rarely travelled, and the only time that I had a chance to go out of my city was when I had a trip in my Highschool. This year, I 'fuck it!' and pack my luggages and awarded myself a trip across Vietnam, only by myself. The rest is history -- This trip opens a possibility, that I have known ever since I was a kid, but have never thought that I would ever do it - travel alone. Since I moved to Germany, I have made various trips to cities by myself: Berlin, Potsdam, Dresden, München, Hamburg, Prague... Solo-travel has created an experience that fits to me: I don't need to compensate with anyone, I go wherever I like, I eat what I want, maybe even 2 or 3 times at the same place if I love the food so much. And that, is the most precious experience I have ever had.
2. Take up a new hobby - Wandering
After the trip to München, I have acquainted with some awesome people who were doing a trip across Europe, and it sparked in me something, I felt the rush - I want to do just like that. Backpacks, camping kits,... I bought them all, and started the trip: Wandering in the forest. Although I did get lost, and ended up walking on a highway, but it was a cool experience and I will definitely spend more time doing this in the future.
A direct trip became a woossalskdfwebfoiwefjwe trip because I got lost.
It was exhausting but worth it!
3. Spend more time with myself
When asking about what he wants to say to younger generatio, Andrei Tarkovsky once said in the interview
I think I’d like to say only that they should learn to be alone and try to spend as much time as possible by themselves. I think one of the faults of young people today is that they try to come together around events that are noisy, almost aggressive at times. This desire to be together in order to not feel alone is an unfortunate symptom, in my opinion. Every person needs to learn from childhood how to spend time with oneself. That doesn’t mean he should be lonely, but that he shouldn’t grow bored with himself because people who grow bored in their own company seem to me in danger, from a self-esteem point of view.
On one of my most read post here, I once wrote about how I craved to hang out with my friends, and whenever they couldn't with me, I shut the group chat, jailed myself in my room, got that frowned, grumpy face for the whole day, and swore I never befriended with them again. With the new life here in Germany, I slowly learned to befriend with myself, and be comforted with the fact that there is no better friend than myself. Solo-travel? Why not? Picnic alone? Sounds fun! Go to cinema with the entire popcorn basket to my own? Sounds like a brilliant date. I don't feel the need to constantly depend on others to fix my mood. I fix my own. Having sometimes alone also help me has more time to read, to write, to draw, to do things that I love, and one of it, is slowly better at gossiping in Spanish :').
4. Learn to cook
I still remembered the first time EVER that I really cook, is when I'm here in Germany. Suprised! I'm a spoiled kid who didn't even know how to make a proper meal, nor did I know how to do laundry, buy groceries (The last time I visited a sueprmarket in Vietnam was like... 3-4 years ago??) I didn't even know how much a kilogram of tomatoes cost in Vietnam. Came here, with no basic survival skills, I wandered around Aldi like this was sort of a mall. I wondered nearly everyday here, kept examining new products, a can of salad. What? You have this? A pack of eggs, why they use carton here? Soy milk, Almond milk, Cow milk... Everything. I rememebered at those first days I came to Germany, I bought a bottle of oatmeal milk, and didn't even put it in the fridge, thinking that this cold weather is enough to not get the milk spoiled. When I ate it with cereal, it got a sour taste that I thought it was because of how the cereal tasted. Turned out the milk was spoiled. When I cooked a chicken thigh, I didn't know how to handle the pan, and the chicken got burnt, while it was still red inside, and I had to call mom to teach me what to do with the chicken. It was sooo messed up. After a week or so, I got the hang of it, and finally cooked myself a meal. A meal in my whole life. Yes, you don't read it wrong. I was spoiled, really spoiled :D
.My first cooking ever - Don’t be fool! The chicken is still raw!
Until recently.
I can also safely cook for my friends during party at my house
Cooking is the best thing everrr!!!!
Now cooking become my utmost favourite hobby that I swear to try new recipe every Friday, and that tradition is still preserved till today. I have a list of sources of where I learn new recipes, you can check out my previous post here.
5. I created a website.
Needless to say, this is one of the biggest achievement in my 2023. This blog, and the brand new website with my own name on it that I just created roughly 3 days ago. It's still new, but I plan to fill it with trivials and quirky things in my life that may bring some good laugh for you (I hope so haha).
A great time in Studienkolleg with my new friends. Got accepted to Studienkolleg Halle, spent approximately a year with the best people I have ever encountered. We danced, we laughed, we partied, we studied,... and the cycle goes on. I love you my dear putas, you are the best that have ever happened to me. To all the precious friends I don't have many chances to talk with, I love you dearly, and you guys are always have a spacious, luxurious room in my heart.
6. Celebrate unexpected changes.
My life has always been chaotic, I didn't know what I was doing. I don't know now what I'm doing, apart from writing this blog. I don't know what I will turn into next year, most of my goals for this month weren't reached (including waking up at 6:30, do yoga every morning, limit the phone use,...). But I believe in trying the best in the present. I don't know what work I will do in the future, what happen to me next year... No clue! But well, yeah, just simply enjoy the moment. Goals we set, yes. Vision we imagine, yes. But it's the end of the year now, and at this moment, let us celebrate that we have survived this year, and hope for the best in 2024.
How sad it makes one feel to sit down quietly and think of the flight of the old year, and the unceremonious obtrusion of the new year upon our notice! How many things we have omitted to do which might have cheered a human heart, or whispered hope in the ear of the sorrowful, and how many things have we done over which the dark mantle of regret will ever fall! How many good resolutions did I make at the commencement of the year now flown, merely to break them and to feel more than ever convinced of the weakness of my own resolutions!
Emily Dickinson, Letter to Abiah Root, 12th January 1846
With all of that... Happy new year my love! I really appreciate that you've been with me till today, with my blog, with me. I truly hope that you will have the best time whether with your friends, with your family, or with you, and only you.
Wish you all the best. Chynnerio, and the last post of 2023
Sobbing through this final episode of Modern Family
